8:55a i’m about ready to throw this fucking computer out the window. arcmap has given me nothing but shit all week.
11:04a: i seriously want to knit while i’m waiting on arcmap to do whatever it is it’s doing. like i want to learn socks. but i have fuckin 4 other things on needles right now and need to finish SOMETHING before i move on.
11:39A: they’re talking about the yule goat on black mass appeal. i need to look this up as to whether there’s a reference for that in the literature i have. because i’m thinking that has more to do with the goat as a symbol of successful resource management through the winter versus some kind of magic or deity related thing, or maybe it’s all of that in a winter survival party burrito. idk i’m spitballing and probably super wrong.
2:02p: i know i can’t be happy all the time, but i really hate the lows. i wish i could make this bearable. i’m afraid of being alone but i really don’t like most of the people i interact with. i want to pursue art as a career but i know i’d fail and lose everything. i tried pursuing cooking as a career and failed spectacularly. that’s why i’m working where i’m working now.