Unti555tled.mxd #98

9:01p i made rice and beans last night in the instant pot.

2c uncooked long grain rice
1 can dark red kidney beans, drained
1 can diced tomatoes, drained
1/2 link andouille sausage, chopped
1 cup kroger frozen mirepoix vegetables (onion, celery, green bell pepper)
4 1/2 cup chicken broth
~1 tsp tony’s seasoning

hit rice, should be 12 minutes on low. mine is automatic. quick release immediately after cook time is done.

notes for next time:
* more seasoning, not more tony’s but add more paprika? cayenne? other stuff.
* use rotel instead of plain diced tomatoes, decrease chicken broth by 1/2 cup for rotel water.
* more peppers.

1:48p i’ve had this guy call twice now. he says that someone snaked *his* house instead of his father’s home and the lawyers are buddy-buddy with each other and won’t do shit about the problem. he wants to file a lien or something, but hey guess what. i can’t get involved. i can’t do anything. i can’t give advice.

because i’m not a lawyer nor do i have a legal background. when i ask you for supporting documents, that’s what i need. 100%. no if, and, or but.

2:39 i’m dealing with my first transperson at work. there’s some confusion with her situs address vs. her mailing address. i was trying to figure out why the name we had on record didn’t match the deed record before we went any further and found her name change forms from court. didn’t ask any questions,

Unti555tled.mxd #96

9:11a i ended up making more or less what i wrote up yesterday afternoon.

8 oz (DRY WEIGHT) soaked black beans w/ 1 package sazon seaoning
9.4 oz (2 ea) boneless skinless chicken thigh, half-assed thawed
1/2 cup pot barley
1 bag kroger frozen soup vegetables
1 cup kroger frozen bell peppers and onions
1 cup kroger frozen black eyed peas
1 tbsp taco seasoning
2 tbsp minced garlic
1 small can kroger brand rotel
3 cups kroger lower sodium chicken broth
3/4 bag baby spinach

in the instant pot:
add beans, sazon seasoning & water to half-way mark on IP or 2″ above beans
high pressure for 25 minutes
natural pressure release completely

remove beans from pot, drain, set aside. clean IP bowl.

then saute vegetables, taco seasoning, and garlic until thawed and a little brown
deglaze w/ rotel water then add the actual rotel
saute a little bit more
add pot barley
add chicken
add chicken broth

put lid on IP, high pressure for 18 minutes. natural release for 10 minutes, then flip valve to quick release. stir in spinach.

im just trying to use up what i have before the move. i used up the barley i had. i have a shit ton of beans and rice that won’t get used up before the move, but that’s okay. they’ll keep and they’re easy to move.

12:11p i bought a big bag of sunflower seeds last night at walmart. best decision i’ve made all week. would sunflower seeds make it on an episode of gettin’ nuts? i need to ask. omg

1:28p i am kind of pissed rn. one of the people in my gaming group doesn’t have a car. she doesn’t drive at all. bikes everywhere. when we make plans that aren’t at the normal place, all she says in group text, normally several hours after the planning took place, is “ride?”

and i already know i’m going to get asked, like hey will you pick up [xxxxxxxx] if i take her home?

i don’t know why, but this always always always pisses me off. it’s not my fault that we don’t have viable public transportation here, she knows that, she knew that when she let her license expire all those fucking years ago.

same group won’t come hang out if i invite them out to do stuff with other people, but cry when i don’t come hang out with them and their friends.




Unti555tled.mxd #95

9:13a i unsubscribed from a couple of podcasts i just wasn’t into anymore. like blabbermouth pissed me off something fierce, so i unsubscribed from all the shows that were related to that. i used to love dan savage until he showed his complete and total ignorance to the world outside his bubble.

10:47a i’ve just been putting some nicotine liquid under my tongue. the cotton was a bad idea, it didn’t really hold onto the liquid and was scratchy. i might try soaking a snack bag of cotton balls for comicpalooza this weekend, idk not sure yet. straight application seems to work just fine though, craving is sated and i’m not feeling any overdose effects. fwiw i’ve overdosed before, you don’t die but you kind of want to.

what’s happening in the US & DPRK is terrifying. i know NK doesn’t have shit as far as weapons go as far as the US is concerned, but what about south korea? they are our allies. pretty sure NK has weapons that can fuck up south korea.

2:23p i love sunflower seeds so much.

2:40p okay, i need to sketch out lunches because i did not make any this weekend. i did put some black beans to soak because i had a nebulous chicken tortilla soup idea. idk this is chicken tortilla adjacent.

8 oz black beans, soaked. pop this into the instant pot as soon as you get home w/ seasonings, half cx broth half water, depending on how much cx broth you have.
1 cup long grain rice
2 chicken thighs
1 bag kroger frozen soup vegetables
1 cup frozen bell peppers and onions
1 tbsp taco seasoning? maybe more.
2 cups cx broth

3:20P HOLY SHIT “phantom possession syndrome” is pretty insane.

notes from the office #65

8:19a i’m eventually going to catch up this blog so i can update it daily instead of in big batches. i write 5 days a week. this is mostly just so i have a space to vent that’s not going to hurt anyone. there aren’t very many people who do what i do, so it can be frustrating for me to vent to my loved ones and friends when they don’t understand what i’m frustrated about.

i started and finished archive 81 last week and finished it up saturday, then i started the blood crow stories over the weekend and i’m digging it. i kind of wish there was more archive 81, it was a really interesting concept. so is the blood crow stories.

8:38a blood crow stories ep 5 – i think fiona’s my favorite character. dump that zero and go sing to those chickens!

9:15a the desire to just knit all day is back. i want to make a cardigan. right now i’ve frogged and restarted this bolero 4 times now and it’s an easy 4-row repeat. hhhhhmmmm. like i want to make a hftmt themed cardigan. i know i can’t make it super intricate, that’s a limitation of the medium but i could totally probably put some of the main themes. like the tavern’s logo, a badgie, and maybe a blue bird. a microphone? i’ll just have to figure it out. i am like a month behind on my temerpature shawl.

10:54a why why why do i get these little blips of existential dread – suddenly realizing i’m terrified of death and what it will be and what i’ll leave behind and if anyone will remember me. i just want it to stop. i’m afraid of dying alone, but then don’t we all die alone? i just hope i don’t die in pain.

12:00p BCS STOP PUTTING MY HEART THROUGH A WRINGER. i also hope fiona stays on the farm and that shitbag husband fucks right off. anyone who murders animals to prove a point is probably like 2 heartbeats from killing people.

2:18p i had a thought and i lost it.

2:21p this wasn’t my thought, but close enough. i made a batch of this oatmeal quick bread. 1/2 batch as a sheet pancake for breakfast and the other half as mini muffins.

2.5 cup dry rolled oats, ground until fine (or cornmeal)
.5 cup all purpose flour (or ground rolled oats)
1 banana, blended with 2.5 cups of water (this is a substitute for soy milk, which is a substitute for cow milk)
1 cup of unsweetened applesauce
3 tbsp baking powder
7 tbsp apriva (or favorite 1:1 sugar substitute, or sugar)
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp chia seeds (poppy seeds might be good in this too)
1 tbsp vanilla extract

bake at 350 until a toothpick comes out clean. if you want proper griddled pancakes just make it like that. easy peasy.

it tastes like banana bread. i don’t remember where i found the original recipe, but i had adapted it for a cornmeal pancake. i then ran out of cornmeal and had a ton of rolled oats so i just made a substitution there. i made it with soy milk the first time, then the next time i went to make these i was out of soymilk but i had bananas soooo banana milk was made.

2:43p so i found out there’s a significant error in one of our datasets that might significantly impact some stuff that’s kind of important and my boss is on the fucking phone and i’m not really cool rn because i’m afraid all this shit is going to come down on me instead of my predecessor. oh, sweet lord.

2:49p THANK GOODNESS IT AFFECTS NOTHING AT ALL. ugh we just use it for open records requests and i’m glad i got an updated copy of this dataset from the authority.

3:49p jfc i put some shelled pistachios in my snacks this week. i could eat a solid 10lbs of these, in shell. i love pistachios. they are my favorite nut

this has another episode been gettin’ nuts

notes from the office #45

11:17a i dont really have much to write about today. i finished up season one of the white vault this morning. that is a fantastic horror audiodrama set in the artic circle. svardbald i think is how it's spelled? anyway it's pretty good stuff. i always like a good "stuck in a blizzard and shit's getting weird" story. 

i made a bunch of mini-cinnamon rolls. 1/3 regular, 1/3 nutella, 1/3 brown sugar & cinnamon cream cheese. i hope my coworker liked it.

i need to learn how to draw, like really draw. i can't. i can make lines with directional calls, and on paper i can use rulers and compasses and such but i can't ddddrrrraaaawwwww. i have so many ideas in my head but i can't get them out. 

11:46a i really hope the women talking outside my office aren't whisperscreaming about me. i think they're talking about the woman that always calls out (and is out today) that occupies the other desk right there. my anxiety tells me that they're talking about me tho. i have to put that thought away. 

2:02p can i just go home this sucks

one of my facebook friends got her citizenship today. that's fuckin respectable. she knows more about the US than i do. she designs the best shawls.

i'm glad martin shkreli's going to jail, even though it should have been for jacking the price of that HIV drug up. the charges were unrelated to that. 

notes from the office #44

8:03a i love how pocketcast lets me set a given podcast to download and queue automatically. i also almost died when i heard dan carlin’s sweet tones out of nowhere. i love his addendum series, the format is a lot closer to what today’s podcast is (+/- 30 minutes) than the normal hardcore history series (8+ hours). not saying i don’t enjoy hardcore history (I DOOOOOOOO) but sometimes i just want a bite sized hardcore history. oh man.

10:30a it’s been so buuusssssyyyy

why do ex-employees think i care much if they used to work here? i really don't. it doesn't curry any favor with me. currying favor would be you going to the website and downloading the maps i work on and taking them to the fucking printer. or using the online tools that i made to do your radius reports. meh. 

3:22p it's been another busy day. 

4:18p i'm going to make cinnamon roll nutella pull apart bread for my work friend's birthday party tomorrow. 

an aside: my coworker always fucking put in for me for breakfast without asking. i'm fucking allergic to milk. i've been telling them that since i started working here. they never fucking remember. ever ever ever. it's not that i don't want or don't like burritos - I FUCKING LOVE BURRITOS. but i can't eat most of them, especially without reviewing what's in them. i'm already dealing with a flare-up on my foot from fucking something i ate at one point or maybe it's a different allergy or stress or whatever else triggers my eczema but jfc i can at least control that one lone factor. 

i have tried guilting them, being nice to them, speaking frankly about how dairy impacts my eczema. nothing sticks. i've stopped short of showing them photos of the worst of my flare-ups. i had a coworker whose son had the same issue and she remembered, but she had her own food allergies so she already knew what it was like.  

notes from the office #38

*********** ds9 spoilers

8:11a i stayed up entirely too late watching – of all things – deep space 9. there’s a 2-parter in the middle of the season where the dominion threaten to invade the station. i’ve watched deep space 9 a million times and those episodes keep my attention. there’s a lot going on in those episodes outside of the A plotline and tbh, i was in and out of sleep until the second episode where the party is in a jem hadar holding pen.

like we get to know garak pretty damn well. his father headed the obsidian order and was a total douche. he’s anxiety-ridden, something i know pretty intimately. like he talks to himself in increasingly panicked tones until he comes out and acknowledges his claustrophobia when he’s trying to save the group.

at the same time worf is worfing it up. he’s selected to teach the jem hadar how to take down a klingon. now they picked the wrrrroonnnggg klingon for that, because worf is never going down. they’ll have to kill him. even martok eventually says, dude tap out. you proved your point. worf’s like, no man, he’s gonna have to kill me. the jem hadar ring leader even bows out before worf does. i’m headcannoning this as worf is, duh, defending his honor as a klingon but at the same time is protecting martok, dr bashir, garak, and the romulan captive from a similar fate in the ring the longer he holds on. you’ll have to kill me to get to them. that’s the starfleet/human influence on worf.

the vorta then instructs another jem hadar soldier to vaporize the ring leader, worf and (i think) martok but GARAK CLENCHES IT IN THE FINAL SECONDS and fixes the transporter hookup in the wall and ultimately saves the day. beams them out right as the jem hadar soldier fires.

9:23a i wish i could stop thinking about death. i don’t want to die. i don’t want my parents to die, i don’t want my sister to die, i don’t want my boyfriend to die, i don’t want my friends to die. it’s really the only thing we absolutely have to do in life though, and as many times as i acknowledge it as fact i can’t put the child’s voice in my mind away entirely. every time i see a death certificate at work i wonder what mine will look like. it fills me with dread.

10:03a that little dip passed, thank goodness.

10:38a the best way to get past that dip is to think about all the cool stuff and experiences i’ll fill my life up with. like right now, in my head, i’m drawing up tentative plans for an ana cosplay for comicpalooza and a couple outfits for the renaissance festival in the fall.

[xxxxxx] emailed me as i was literally writing him a text to see how retirement’s treating him. someone must have said something, lol. he was hoping i’d got new furniture in his old office, NOPE. same stuff. but this stuff is from the early 90s at least. it’s lasted this long it’ll probably last my tenure here as well.

11:27A i’m listening to “the black farm” as read by talkback. this is fucking intense even though a robot voice is reading it to me. as someone who still struggles with suicidal ideation (even though i KNOW FOR A FACT i don’t want to die) this is a hard listen. at least the beginning. i’ve heard the nosleep story (“feed the pig”, i think?) and i know there’s more. i know there’s a moral. i know it’s not glorifying suicide. jfc i don’t think i could handle this as a performance piece, which i think is what nosleep is touring right now.

11:46a it was a mistake to try and eat my AM snack and listen to this book. just got to the part where the main character is coming to in the farm. uuuggghhh why did i think risotto balls were a good idea. just goes to show that this author, whose name escapes me and talkback makes a pain in the ass to find readily, is really great at painting a picture. even through the robot voice.

11:52a i’m so happy the main character thinks of his wife as soon as he’s regained thought.

2PM ok brainstorming for the next batch of meals

rice base
(1 lb) ground turkey
(1 lb dry) great northern beans
(2 bags of baby spinach?) sauteed garlic spinach
1 bag frozen green peas
pickled carrots
pickled cucumbers

i like congee for breakfast but i need to figure out how to get more calories out of it. duh, increase the amount of rice.

maybe a pasta dish, i’ve had rice bowls more or less for a month and a half.

box of rotini
1 lb ground turkey or 1 lb pork loin
1 brick tofu
1 jar red sauce
whatever is left of the lentils in the cabinet
cooked spinach

3:02p the black farm is some good suicide prevention fanfic once you get past the beginning

3:26p jesus christ, muck. muck, muck, muck. i wonder why i’m listening to this, and then i remember i’ve been watching horror movies since well before the age i should have been. maybe this is just the next logical step, since horror movies really do nothing for me anymore.

4:36p i think elias witherow is on the same page as i am re: horror. finally saw the author’s name again when i had to bail out of talkback for a minute. work happened. not that it isn’t always happening when i’m here, but i had to pause talkback and the kindle app backs out of the book when you do that.